Last week, Kevin F, PIR® Board President, had the opportunity to join

Psychedelics in Recovery

As tends to happen when speaking publicly about this work, Kevin and Joe covered familiar terrain: how PIR® came into being, the contours of Kevin’s recovery story, and the long-standing (and often misunderstood) relationship between psychedelics and recovery culture—particularly the well-documented use of LSD by Bill Wilson in the 1950s. These topics are not novel to PIR members, but they continue to matter, especially as psychedelic narratives are increasingly flattened into soundbites that obscure nuance, context, and lived experience.

What members of PIR® may appreciate most in the exchange between Kevin and Joe, was the space it allowed for honest conversation about the tensions inherent in service work—especially when that service is directed toward a complex and evolving fellowship. For many of our volunteer service members, growing an organization like PIRⓇ has often felt like “building the plane while it’s taking off”: responding to real needs in real time, navigating ethical and legal uncertainty, and holding responsibility not only for ideas, but for people. That reality is rarely clean, and it resists the kind of certainty that both media cycles and policy debates often demand.

There is an added layer to this conversation that neither Kevin nor Joe could name at the time the episode was being recorded. As they were talking, news was breaking about potential federal funding cuts at SAMHSA that—had they gone through as initially reported—would have sent a significant shockwave through the behavioral health and recovery ecosystem. Thankfully, those cuts did not ultimately materialize. Still, the moment serves as an important backdrop for the themes we discussed: how fragile many of our support systems are, how dependent they remain on political winds, and how quickly stability can feel illusory for people already living close to the edge.

In that light, this conversation feels less like a retrospective and more like a snapshot of a field at a crossroads. Psychedelics are no longer fringe, but the structures meant to hold care, integration, and community have not caught up to the pace of interest or investment. Whether we are talking about mutual-aid fellowships and their organizational service leadership, or public mental health infrastructure, the same question keeps surfacing: how do we grow without losing the human center?

With gratitude to Joe for the chance to explore these questions in a way that honors complexity rather than bypassing it. If you’re interested in the intersections of recovery, psychedelics, history, and systems-level fragility—and in what it actually looks like to steward something 

This is the substance of a revealing letter which Bill Wilson wrote several years ago to a close friend who also had troubles with depression. The letter appeared in the “Grapevine” January, 1953.

EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY

“I think that many oldsters who have put our AA “booze cure” to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA, the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.

Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance, urges quite appropriate to age seventeen, prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven and fifty-seven.

Since AA began, I´ve taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up emotionally and spiritually. My God, how painful it is to keep demanding the impossible, and how very painful to discover, finally, that all along we have had the cart before the horse. Then comes the final agony of seeing how awfully wrong we have been, but still finding ourselves unable to get off the emotional merry-go-round.

How to translate a right mental conviction into a right emotional result, and so into easy, happy and good living. Well, that´s not only the neurotic´s problem, it´s the problem of life itself for all of us who have got to the point of real willingness to hew to right principles in all of our affairs.

Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy may still elude us. That´s the place so many of us AA oldsters have come to. And it´s a hell of a spot, literally. How shall our unconscious, from which so many of our fears, compulsions and phony aspirations still stream, be brought into line with what we actually believe, know and want! How to convince our dumb, raging and hidden 閃r. Hyde’ becomes our main task.

I´ve recently come to believe that this can be achieved. I believe so because I begin to see many benighted ones, folks like you and me, commencing to get results. Last autumn, depression, having no really rational cause at all, almost took me to the cleaners. I began to be scared that I was in for another long chronic spell. Considering the grief I´ve had with depressions, it wasn´t a bright prospect.

I kept asking myself “Why can´t the twelve steps work to release depression?” By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer … “it´s better to comfort than to be comforted.” Here was the formula, all right, but why didn´t it work?

Suddenly, I realized what the matter was. My basic flaw had always been dependence, almost absolute dependence, on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression.

There wasn´t a chance of making the outgoing love of St. Francis a workable and joyous way of life until these fatal and almost absolute dependencies were cut away.

Because I had over the years undergone a little spiritual development, the absolute quality of these frightful dependencies had never before been so starkly revealed. Reinforced by what grace I could secure in prayer, I found I had to exert every ounce of will and action to cut off these faulty emotional dependencies upon people, upon AA, indeed upon any act of circumstance whatsoever.

Then only could I be free to love as Francis did. Emotional and instinctual satisfactions, I saw, were really the extra dividends of having love, offering love, and expressing love appropriate to each relation of life.

Plainly, I could not avail myself to God´s love until I was able to offer it back to Him by loving others as He would have me. And I couldn´t possibly do that so long as I was victimized by false dependencies.

For my dependence meant demand, a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me.

While those words “absolute dependence” may look like a gimmick, they were the ones that helped to trigger my release into my present degree of stability and quietness of mind, qualities which I am now trying to consolidate by offering love to others regardless of the return to me.

This seems to be the primary healing circuit: an outgoing love of God´s creation and His people, by means of which we avail ourselves of His love for us. It is most clear that the real current can´t flow until our paralyzing dependencies are broken, and broken at depth. Only then can we possibly have a glimmer of what adult love really is.

If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand. Let us, with God´s help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. Then we can be set free to live and love: we may then be able to gain emotional sobriety.

Of course, I haven´t offered you a really new idea — only a gimmick that has started to unhook several of my own hexes´ at depth. Nowadays, my brain no longer races compulsively in either elation, grandiosity or depression. I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine.”

Bill Wilson

Bill’s insights into emotional sobriety were groundbreaking. He acknowledged that while the 12 steps provided a framework for physical sobriety and personal growth, they didn’t necessarily address the profound emotional and psychological struggles that persisted even after years of sobriety. Bill realized that true emotional sobriety involved breaking free from dependencies on people, outcomes, and external approval—relying instead on an inner source of resilience. But for him, this was an area the steps alone couldn’t fully reach.

This idea—emotional sobriety as deeper, ongoing work—wasn’t easily reconciled with the traditional recovery framework. Bill wrestled with the limitations of AA’s structure in addressing the kinds of deep-rooted emotional and spiritual wounds that persisted well beyond achieving sobriety. By 1956, he was actively exploring avenues beyond the 12 steps, including LSD, as a way to potentially unlock these deeper levels of self-understanding and healing. Bill saw LSD as a potential catalyst for profound spiritual experiences that might dissolve ego barriers and enable people, including himself, to access suppressed emotions and memories that were often at the core of their psychological suffering.

While this venture may have seemed radical, it was deeply in line with Bill’s ongoing quest for inner peace and true emotional sobriety. His experimentation with LSD allowed him to revisit and integrate buried traumas and confront his own feelings of inadequacy and depression in a way that traditional AA methods had not. Bill was convinced that these experiences helped him understand himself and his emotional struggles on a profound level, giving him insights that continued to shape his view on recovery.

In taking these steps beyond AA’s traditional framework, Bill recognized the need for a more holistic approach to sobriety—one that addressed emotional and spiritual needs as deeply as the physical ones. His journey illustrated that true recovery isn’t simply a one-time achievement, but rather an ongoing process of integrating all parts of ourselves. Emotional sobriety, as Bill came to understand it, meant living with a sense of inner peace that did not depend on external circumstances or approval. It involved a deeper acceptance of self, one that acknowledged the complexity of human suffering and the possibility of growth even beyond the foundational teachings of AA.

Today, Bill’s legacy on emotional sobriety inspires countless individuals who seek deeper healing beyond physical sobriety. His journey serves as a reminder that while the 12 steps provide an essential foundation, the quest for emotional sobriety may lead each of us to explore new territories, to deepen our understanding of self, and to embrace practices that allow us to truly transform. Emotional sobriety, as Bill hinted, is a journey that calls us to engage with all aspects of our humanity—embracing recovery as a path of continuous self-discovery and healing.

Today, Bill Wilson’s reflections on emotional sobriety resonate with members of Psychedelics in Recovery (PIR), a community of individuals who, like Bill, have found that traditional recovery methods alone don’t always reach the depth of healing they seek. Many members of PIR struggle with the same issues Bill described—unresolved traumas, persistent depression, and a sense of incompleteness despite years of sobriety. By incorporating psychedelics in therapeutic, intentional settings, these members have found a pathway to confront and integrate long-buried emotions, unlocking layers of self-acceptance and inner peace that go beyond what they found in traditional recovery. In aligning with Bill’s courageous exploration, they are pioneering a new approach to emotional sobriety, one that embraces the potential of psychedelics to deepen their healing and bring about a more comprehensive sense of spiritual wholeness. Through PIR, they continue Bill’s legacy of searching for inner peace, bridging the wisdom of the 12 steps with the profound insights available through expanded, conscious exploration.

This period of experimentation reflected Wilson’s lifelong curiosity about exploring alternative methods to treat addiction and enhance spiritual experience. His involvement with leuko adrenochrome, though far less documented than his work with LSD, illustrates his continued search for scientific and spiritual breakthroughs in addiction treatment. It also highlights the tension between Wilson’s more experimental leanings and the mainstream recovery philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous.

What is Leuko Adrenochrome?

Leuko adrenochrome is a derivative of adrenochrome, a compound produced by the oxidation of adrenaline (epinephrine). Adrenochrome itself has been associated with various speculative and sometimes sensationalized claims regarding its effects on the human brain. In the mid-20th century, researchers explored the potential psychotropic effects of adrenochrome, believing it might play a role in conditions like schizophrenia and other mental disorders. Some early studies suggested that adrenochrome could induce hallucinations or altered states of consciousness, though these findings were controversial and largely dismissed in mainstream medical research.

Leuko adrenochrome was a related compound that Bill Wilson believed might have the potential to unlock new avenues for treating alcoholism. Similar to his interest in LSD, Wilson viewed leuko adrenochrome as a possible tool for spiritual and psychological exploration, which could aid in the process of recovery.

Leuko adrenochrome is famously mentioned in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson, though its depiction in the book is largely fictional and exaggerated for dramatic effect. In the novel, the character Dr. Gonzo gives adrenochrome to Raoul Duke (the protagonist), describing it as an extremely powerful and rare drug that produces intense and horrifying hallucinations. The scene where adrenochrome is used portrays it as a substance with effects far more potent and disturbing than any known psychedelic.

Thompson’s depiction of adrenochrome in Fear and Loathing is largely a product of his signature gonzo journalism style, where fact and fiction are often blended to create surreal, exaggerated narratives. The adrenochrome sequence is one of the most surreal moments in the book, heightening the chaotic and hallucinogenic tone of the story. The novel gives the impression that adrenochrome is a highly sought-after drug capable of producing profound psychotropic effects, but this portrayal is far from reality.

In fact, the real scientific understanding of adrenochrome is much less sensational. There was some fringe research in the mid-20th century that speculated about adrenochrome’s potential role in schizophrenia or altered states of consciousness, but these theories were never widely accepted or validated. Leuko adrenochrome, in particular, has no reputation for being a powerful hallucinogen or psychoactive substance. The drug’s mention in Thompson’s book likely capitalized on its obscure and mysterious reputation, adding to the outlandish, drug-fueled narrative.

Bill Wilson’s Interest in Alternative Treatments

Wilson’s openness to experimenting with alternative substances in the pursuit of spiritual insight and enhanced recovery methods was well-documented. In the 1950s and 1960s, Wilson was fascinated by the possibility that substances like LSD and leuko adrenochrome could help alcoholics experience profound spiritual awakenings, which he saw as essential for recovery.

His exploration of LSD, in particular, stemmed from the belief that it could facilitate a mystical experience that paralleled the spiritual awakenings described in AA’s Twelve Steps. For Wilson, these experiences were crucial in enabling individuals to overcome their addiction by finding a deeper connection to a higher power. Leuko adrenochrome seemed to present another opportunity for Wilson to explore the connection between biochemical changes in the brain and the potential for spiritual transformation.

The Experimentation with Leuko Adrenochrome

Wilson’s experimentation with leuko adrenochrome came at a time when he was also deeply involved in studying the potential benefits of niacin (vitamin B3) for treating alcoholism. In fact, Wilson became a strong advocate for the therapeutic use of high-dose niacin, believing that it could alleviate some of the mental health challenges associated with alcoholism, such as depression and anxiety.

It was during this period that Wilson’s curiosity extended to leuko adrenochrome. He believed that this compound, like niacin, might offer insights into how the brain and its chemistry could influence addiction recovery. Though there is little direct evidence of the exact nature of Wilson’s experiments with leuko adrenochrome, his personal letters and accounts suggest that he was intrigued by the possibility that altering brain chemistry could lead to new ways of treating addiction.

Wilson’s experimentation with leuko adrenochrome was primarily self-directed, and it remained a relatively private aspect of his life compared to his more public advocacy for LSD and niacin. While LSD experiments were carried out in clinical settings and among fellow AA members, the leuko adrenochrome trials were less well-known, possibly because Wilson’s hopes for the compound never materialized into significant findings.

Legacy and Controversy

Wilson’s experimentation with leuko adrenochrome is a reminder of his restless and pioneering spirit, always searching for new methods to help alcoholics find recovery. However, it also contributed to the growing tension between his personal interests in experimental treatments and the more traditional, abstinence-based approach of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Within AA, there was resistance to Wilson’s embrace of substances like LSD and his enthusiasm for experimental treatments. Many in the fellowship were concerned that endorsing such methods would conflict with AA’s central message of sobriety through spiritual awakening and self-discipline. Wilson’s use of leuko adrenochrome, though not as publicly discussed as his other experiments, was part of this broader controversy surrounding his exploration of mind-altering substances.

In the end, leuko adrenochrome did not have the transformative impact that Wilson had hoped for. It remained a relatively obscure aspect of his life, overshadowed by his more famous contributions to the recovery community. Nonetheless, it stands as another example of Wilson’s deep interest in understanding the brain and addiction, and his willingness to pursue unconventional paths in the hope of finding better solutions for those struggling with alcoholism.

Bill Wilson’s exploration of leuko adrenochrome is an often overlooked chapter in his life, but it offers a glimpse into his continual search for scientific and spiritual methods to aid in recovery. While the compound never gained the attention or success of other substances Wilson explored, such as LSD and niacin, his work with leuko adrenochrome highlights his openness to innovation and his belief that addiction recovery could be enhanced through biochemistry as well as spirituality. Ultimately, though, this phase of experimentation did not change the course of addiction treatment, it remains a testament to Wilson’s broader vision of healing and transformation.

While Powers would begin his journey as an atheist, only to embrace a more traditional and dogmatic spiritual approach, Wilson would evolve in the opposite direction, moving toward a more open, exploratory, and inclusive vision of recovery. The catalyst for these diverging paths? LSD and the spiritual experiences it sparked.

Tom Powers: From Atheist to Spiritual Traditionalist

Tom Powers’ story begins in the midst of Alcoholics Anonymous, where he, like many others, found refuge from the wreckage of addiction. However, Powers’ entry into AA was as an atheist, skeptical of the spiritual underpinnings that the twelve-step program promoted. Despite his reservations, he respected Bill Wilson’s vision of a recovery program that emphasized spiritual awakening as the key to overcoming alcoholism. Powers initially approached his recovery pragmatically, focused on the psychological aspects rather than the spiritual components.

However, his deep involvement in AA, particularly his work alongside Bill Wilson in crafting Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the Twelve and Twelve), gradually began to shift his perspective. Powers’ contributions to this foundational text reflected a growing openness to spiritual concepts, even as he grappled with his own evolving beliefs. The Twelve and Twelve itself is a nuanced work, balancing psychological insight with spiritual principles, and Powers’ fingerprints are evident in its focus on personal responsibility, moral inventory, and the search for deeper meaning in recovery.

It was during this time that Powers, like Wilson, began experimenting with LSD. Initially, these psychedelic experiences were viewed as potential tools for recovery, particularly in facilitating profound spiritual insights. For Powers, however, these experiments marked a turning point. The LSD-induced mystical experiences led him to a realization that spiritual transformation required not just occasional moments of insight but a disciplined, traditional approach to spiritual growth.

Increasingly uncomfortable with the looseness of AA’s spiritual framework and the reliance on personal interpretation of a “higher power,” Powers began to distance himself from Wilson’s more fluid vision of recovery. In his view, true recovery demanded rigorous adherence to a more structured and dogmatic spiritual path. This shift culminated in his decision to leave AA and form All Addicts Anonymous (AAA) in 1958, a program that went beyond AA in its spiritual demands. AAA addressed not only alcoholism but all forms of addiction, requiring participants to engage in strict self-examination, personal accountability, and a deeply traditional spiritual journey. AAA, went back to the earliest roots of AA and the Oxford Group and embraced not only the Twelve Steps but also encouraged practicing the Four Absolutes.  Powers had moved from atheism to an uncompromising belief in the necessity of a higher spiritual authority as the only path to lasting recovery.

His retreat center in East Ridge, New York, became the embodiment of this philosophy. At East Ridge, those seeking recovery were expected to fully immerse themselves in a spiritually rigorous environment, free from the distractions and compromises that Powers felt had seeped into AA. His vision of recovery was no longer about just staying sober—it was about spiritual discipline and transformation, achieved through unwavering commitment to traditional dogma.

Bill Wilson: A Journey Toward Openness and Inclusion

Bill Wilson’s story, in contrast, is one of expanding openness. While Wilson was deeply spiritual from the beginning, believing in the necessity of a spiritual awakening for successful recovery, his early views on spirituality were relatively conventional. The AA program he co-founded was rooted in a belief in a higher power, but this was initially conceived in more traditional Christian terms. Over time, however, Wilson’s understanding of spirituality became increasingly flexible, and his leadership of AA reflected a growing willingness to embrace diverse approaches to spiritual experience.

The LSD experiments that Bill Wilson and Tom Powers both participated in were pivotal for Wilson, but they pushed him in the opposite direction. Rather than becoming more dogmatic, Wilson began to explore a broader range of spiritual experiences, convinced that recovery could be enhanced by expanding the ways individuals connected to their higher power. The mystical experiences induced by LSD opened Wilson’s mind to the idea that spiritual experiences could be diverse, subjective, and not confined to traditional religious frameworks.

Wilson’s growing interest in the broader potential of spiritual exploration led him to advocate for the use of LSD as a tool to help people in recovery access these profound experiences. He believed that the drug could offer a shortcut to the kind of spiritual awakening that was often central to overcoming addiction. This put Wilson increasingly at odds with Powers, who was becoming more rigid in his spiritual beliefs.

While Wilson never succeeded in integrating LSD into AA officially, his post-LSD vision of recovery was markedly different from the program’s early days. Wilson became increasingly focused on inclusivity, making AA more accessible to people from different religious backgrounds and even to those with no religious belief at all. The once clear line between spirituality and personal psychology began to blur for Wilson, who believed that the key to recovery was not adherence to dogma, but rather an individual’s unique spiritual experience—whatever form that might take.

As Wilson grew older, his vision for AA continued to expand. He became a vocal advocate for ensuring that AA remained open and flexible, allowing people to interpret their “higher power” in whatever way worked for them. His post-LSD journey led him to distance AA from rigid definitions of spirituality, instead emphasizing the importance of personal growth, psychological healing, and a fluid approach to the twelve steps.

Diverging Visions: A Lasting Impact

The stories of Tom Powers and Bill Wilson, though intertwined, ultimately reflect two very different interpretations of recovery and spirituality. Powers, who began as an atheist, became an advocate for a more rigid, traditional approach to recovery—one that required strict adherence to spiritual discipline and rejected the openness of early AA. His experiences with LSD accelerated this transformation, pushing him to believe that only a structured and dogmatic approach could foster lasting change.

Wilson, on the other hand, began with a conventional spiritual outlook but evolved toward inclusivity and openness. The same LSD experiences that caused Powers to reject flexibility encouraged Wilson to embrace it. For Wilson, recovery was not about dogma but about providing people the space to find their own spiritual path.

In the end, both men left indelible marks on the recovery movement. Powers’ All Addicts Anonymous and the East Ridge retreat center represented a counterpoint to AA, a place for those who sought a more demanding spiritual journey. Wilson’s AA, meanwhile, continued to grow, becoming a global fellowship that embraced a wide range of spiritual beliefs, making it accessible to millions. Their divergent paths reflect the complexity of recovery itself—a process that is deeply personal, shaped by individual experiences, and always open to new interpretations of healing.

Eisner’s involvement with psychedelics led her to conduct some of the earliest group LSD therapy sessions, and she credits Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, with initiating this group approach. Wilson, who had a deep interest in spiritual experiences as a critical component of recovery from alcoholism, believed that psychedelics could potentially facilitate profound spiritual awakenings. He thought these experiences could be particularly valuable for alcoholics who struggled to achieve the spiritual transformation that AA considers essential for sobriety.

“The use of group sessions actually started with Bill Wilson, of Alcoholics Anonymous fame. Bill Wilson took LSD along with Tom Powers, who handled the publicity for AA, and Sid Cohen and me. That was the flrst group session. Strangely, for Tom and me the drug didn’t work for four hours while we were doing therapy with Bill Wilson. [laughs] Then it hit the moment we got out of the hospital environment! Interesting.” -Betty Eisner Interview, The Birth and Death of Psychedelic Therapy

Eisner recounts that the first group LSD session she participated in was with Bill Wilson, his close associate Tom Powers, and Sidney Cohen. This marked the beginning of group therapy sessions using LSD. The session aimed to explore the potential therapeutic benefits of LSD in a controlled setting. Interestingly, while Eisner and Powers did not feel the effects of the drug initially, the experience profoundly affected Wilson, who saw it as a potential tool for helping alcoholics gain a deeper spiritual insight. Wilson was enthusiastic about the possibilities, feeling that the experience had positively impacted his mental state and could offer similar benefits to others in AA.

For a time, there was serious consideration within AA to include LSD as a part of the recovery process, particularly for those who struggled to achieve the spiritual awakening deemed necessary for lasting sobriety. However, this idea faced significant resistance from the AA community and its board, who were concerned about the implications of promoting a substance that could be seen as contradictory to AA’s foundational principle of total abstinence. Ultimately, the fear of societal backlash and the potential risks associated with psychedelics led AA to abandon the idea of incorporating LSD into their program.

Eisner’s reflections highlight a fascinating and lesser-known chapter in AA’s history—one where its leadership, particularly Wilson, was willing to explore radical and unconventional methods for recovery. Yet, despite his openness to these ideas, the broader organization remained more conservative, wary of venturing beyond traditional, drug-free approaches to sobriety.

Even after AA decided against the use of LSD, Eisner continued her advocacy for the controlled use of psychedelics in therapy. She remained convinced of their potential to facilitate deep psychological and spiritual healing, lamenting the missed opportunity within AA to explore a more inclusive approach to recovery that could have benefited those struggling with addiction in new and profound ways.

Betty Eisner’s work and her collaboration with figures like Bill Wilson serve as a powerful reminder of the complexities involved in addiction treatment and the challenges of integrating innovative, science-based approaches within established recovery frameworks. Her story underscores the importance of remaining open to multiple paths to healing, suggesting that what might seem radical or unconventional today could very well become an essential part of effective treatment tomorrow. As the field of psychedelic therapy experiences a resurgence, Eisner’s pioneering efforts and her groundbreaking group sessions with Bill Wilson provide valuable insights into the evolving landscape of mental health and addiction recovery.

1. Bill Wilson: The Visionary Co-Founder of Alcoholics Anonymous

Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), is widely known for his role in establishing one of the most successful self-help organizations for recovering alcoholics. However, less known is his interest in exploring unconventional methods to induce spiritual awakenings—experiences he believed were crucial for achieving and maintaining sobriety. After his own profound spiritual experience, which he described as a “white light” moment, Wilson became fascinated with the idea that similar experiences could be facilitated through chemical means.

In the 1950s, Wilson became interested in LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide), a powerful hallucinogenic substance that was being studied for its potential therapeutic benefits. Wilson believed that LSD might help alcoholics achieve a transformative spiritual awakening that could assist in their recovery. His openness to such an unconventional approach reflected his broader philosophy of exploring all possible avenues to aid those struggling with addiction.

2. Sidney Cohen: The Psychiatrist and Pioneer in Psychedelic Research

Dr. Sidney Cohen was a psychiatrist and one of the early pioneers in the study of LSD and other psychedelics for therapeutic use. Cohen was particularly interested in the potential of psychedelics to treat various mental health conditions, including alcoholism. He conducted some of the first clinical trials on LSD, exploring its effects on consciousness and its potential to produce profound psychological and spiritual experiences.

Cohen’s research demonstrated that LSD could sometimes lead to a mystical or spiritual experience that might help patients achieve greater self-awareness and potentially lead to therapeutic breakthroughs. It was through Cohen’s pioneering work that Wilson became intrigued by the potential applications of LSD in treating alcoholism. Cohen’s scientific rigor and cautious optimism about the therapeutic potential of psychedelics provided a foundation for exploring these substances further in a controlled environment.

3. Betty Eisner: The Clinical Psychologist Exploring Psychedelic Therapy

Betty Eisner was a clinical psychologist who collaborated with Sidney Cohen and other researchers on early studies involving LSD and other psychedelic substances. Eisner was particularly interested in the potential of psychedelics to enhance psychotherapy and was one of the early practitioners who believed that LSD could be used to facilitate breakthroughs in therapy by helping patients access repressed emotions and memories.

Eisner’s approach was holistic; she saw psychedelics as a tool that could complement traditional therapy methods. Her work with Cohen and others laid the groundwork for using psychedelics in conjunction with psychotherapy to treat alcoholism and other mental health disorders. Eisner’s interest in the spiritual aspects of recovery also resonated with Wilson’s views, making her a valuable collaborator in these early LSD experiments.

4. Tom Powers: The Trusted AA Associate and Spiritual Seeker

Tom Powers was a close associate of Bill Wilson and an early member of Alcoholics Anonymous. He was also deeply involved in the spiritual and philosophical aspects of recovery. Powers co-authored the book “12 Steps and 12 Traditions” with Wilson and was instrumental in helping to shape the spiritual foundation of AA.

Powers’ involvement in the LSD experiments stemmed from his close relationship with Wilson and his shared interest in exploring new ways to enhance spiritual growth and recovery. Like Wilson, Powers was open to unconventional approaches if they promised to help alcoholics achieve lasting sobriety. His participation in these experiments reflected his commitment to the ongoing exploration of spiritual solutions to addiction.

5. Gerald Heard: The Philosopher and Advocate for Expanded Consciousness

Gerald Heard was a British-born philosopher, writer, and advocate for expanding human consciousness. Heard was an influential figure in the countercultural and intellectual circles of the mid-20th century and a significant influence on Bill Wilson. Heard believed that psychedelics, particularly LSD, could facilitate spiritual growth and higher states of consciousness, ideas that intrigued Wilson given his interest in spiritual awakening as a critical component of recovery.

Heard’s philosophical perspective was that psychedelics could be used to enhance spiritual development and that these substances were tools that could help people achieve a greater understanding of themselves and the universe. His ideas provided intellectual and spiritual support for Wilson’s interest in exploring LSD as a potential aid in fostering spiritual experiences for alcoholics.

The Intersection of Recovery and Psychedelic Exploration

The convergence of these figures in the context of LSD research reflects a unique moment in the history of addiction treatment and psychological exploration. Bill Wilson’s interest in LSD was not a rejection of AA’s principles but rather an extension of his lifelong quest to help alcoholics achieve spiritual awakening. Sidney Cohen and Betty Eisner brought scientific credibility and a therapeutic framework to the table, ensuring that the experiments were conducted with a degree of rigor and professionalism. Tom Powers and Gerald Heard added spiritual and philosophical dimensions, grounding the exploration in a broader quest for meaning and transcendence.

Legacy and Controversy

While these early experiments did not lead to the integration of LSD into AA’s formal practices, they did contribute to a broader dialogue about the role of spirituality, consciousness, and unconventional methods in addiction recovery. The willingness of these pioneers to explore new frontiers, despite the controversies and challenges, highlights their commitment to understanding and expanding the boundaries of human experience and healing.

Today, as modern research re-examines the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, the early work of these figures remains relevant. Their efforts remind us of the importance of keeping an open mind in the quest for recovery and spiritual growth. The intersection of their paths—at the crossroads of addiction recovery and psychedelic exploration—offers valuable lessons about the power of collaboration and the courage to explore the unknown.

The collaboration between Bill Wilson, Sidney Cohen, Betty Eisner, Tom Powers, and Gerald Heard represents a bold and experimental chapter in the history of addiction treatment. By bridging the gap between spiritual recovery and scientific exploration, they paved the way for future discussions on the role of psychedelics in therapy. As we continue to explore new methods for healing, their legacy serves as a testament to the spirit of innovation and the enduring quest for understanding the complexities of the human mind and spirit.

A Glimpse into the Unconventional Side of Bill Wilson: A Letter Discussing LSD Therapy

A recently surfaced letter dated March 22, 1957, penned by Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), sheds light on a lesser-known aspect of his life—his interest in and personal experimentation with LSD therapy. Addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Will Eisner,” this letter reveals Wilson’s gratitude for the friendship extended to him during his trip to the West Coast and provides intriguing details about his engagement with what was then a cutting-edge form of psychotherapy involving LSD.

The Context of the Letter

The letter begins with a warm greeting and an apology from Wilson for the delay in responding. He expresses his deep appreciation for the friendship shown to him on his last trip to the West Coast. The tone is personal and heartfelt, indicating a close relationship with the recipients, though the exact nature of their connection is not specified.

The letter’s most striking revelation comes in the second paragraph, where Wilson discusses his experiences with LSD therapy. He writes, “Since returning home I have felt—and hope have acted!—exceedingly well. I can make no doubt that the Eisner-Cohen-Powers-LSD therapy has contributed not a little to this happier state of affairs.” This statement suggests that Wilson not only underwent LSD therapy but found it beneficial to his emotional and psychological well-being.

W. G. W.
Box 459 Grand Central Annex
New York 17, N.Y.

March 22, 1957

Dear Folks,

Please forgive this late response in thanking you both for all the friendship you gave me so freely on my last trip to the Coast. More often than you can guess, I have continued to think of you.

Since returning home I have felt – and hope have acted! – exceedingly well. I can make no doubt that the Eisner-Cohen-Powers-LSD therapy has contributed not a little to this happier state of affairs.

It looks like the contract for our television show is about to be signed. One of the best things about this is that it may bring Tom and me within sight and sound of you both once more.

Devotedly yours,
Bill

Bill Wilson

WGW/nw

Mr. and Mrs. Will Eisner
530 Gretna Way
Los Angeles, California

Bill Wilson and His Interest in LSD Therapy

Bill Wilson’s exploration of LSD therapy might come as a surprise to those who view him solely as the spiritual leader and co-founder of AA. However, Wilson was known for his openness to new ideas and unconventional approaches to spirituality and recovery. His interest in LSD was primarily rooted in the drug’s potential to induce spiritual experiences similar to the “white light” experience he had during his own recovery journey, which he believed was a divine intervention that helped him achieve sobriety.

During the 1950s and early 1960s, LSD was being studied by various researchers and therapists for its potential to treat mental health issues, including alcoholism. Some believed that LSD could facilitate deep introspection and spiritual awakening, which could be particularly beneficial for those struggling with addiction. Wilson, always searching for ways to enhance spiritual awakening among AA members, became intrigued by these possibilities.

The Eisner-Cohen-Powers LSD Therapy

The mention of “Eisner-Cohen-Powers-LSD therapy” in Wilson’s letter refers to a therapeutic approach involving LSD developed by a group of psychologists and researchers. While specific details about this particular therapy group are scarce, it is known that several therapists and psychiatrists during this period were experimenting with LSD as a tool for psychological and spiritual exploration. The reference suggests that Wilson participated in one of these experimental therapies, guided by these researchers.

Wilson’s positive reflections on his experience indicate that he found the therapy to be a valuable tool for personal growth. He noted feeling “exceedingly well” after the sessions, which implies that the therapy had a lasting positive impact on his mental state.

Implications of Wilson’s Experimentation with LSD

Wilson’s engagement with LSD therapy highlights several important aspects of his character and the early days of Alcoholics Anonymous:

1. A Willingness to Explore New Avenues for Recovery: Wilson’s interest in LSD therapy reflects his broader commitment to exploring all possible avenues for achieving spiritual and personal growth. He was not afraid to consider unconventional methods if he believed they could help individuals struggling with alcoholism.
2. A Desire for Spiritual Awakening: For Wilson, the ultimate goal was always spiritual awakening. He believed that a profound spiritual experience was essential for overcoming addiction. His exploration of LSD therapy was motivated by a desire to understand whether these experiences could facilitate the kind of spiritual transformation he saw as central to recovery.
3. Controversy and Divergence: While Wilson was open to exploring LSD therapy, this was likely a controversial stance, especially within the AA community. AA’s philosophy of sobriety was traditionally rooted in abstinence from all mind-altering substances. Wilson’s experimentation with LSD could have been seen as contradictory to the core principles of the organization he co-founded.
4. A Nuanced View of Recovery: Wilson’s exploration of LSD therapy reveals a more nuanced understanding of recovery than is often attributed to him. He was open to integrating new scientific insights and therapeutic techniques into the recovery process, even if they were unconventional or controversial.

This letter provides a rare glimpse into an experimental chapter of Bill Wilson’s life that is not widely known. His engagement with LSD therapy underscores his lifelong commitment to finding new ways to help those struggling with addiction and his willingness to explore unconventional methods for achieving spiritual enlightenment.

Wilson’s brief foray into the world of psychedelic therapy may not have led to a lasting change in AA’s approach to recovery, but it does highlight the depth and complexity of his thinking about addiction, spirituality, and personal transformation. As modern research revisits the potential therapeutic benefits of psychedelics, Wilson’s open-mindedness to new ideas and his enduring search for spiritual solutions continue to resonate.

Exploring the Unlikely Correspondence Between Timothy Leary and Bill Wilson

In the early 1960s, an unexpected correspondence unfolded between two prominent figures: Timothy Leary, a psychologist and leading advocate for psychedelic research, and Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). This exchange offers a fascinating glimpse into a moment when two different worlds—those of psychedelic exploration and spiritual recovery—briefly intersected. A letter from Wilson to Leary, dated July 11, 1961, reveals a surprising openness from Wilson towards the potential therapeutic use of LSD, a stark contrast to the typical perception of AA’s conservative approach to sobriety and addiction recovery.

Background: Two Pioneers in Their Fields

Timothy Leary was known for his groundbreaking research into psychedelics at Harvard University, where he explored the psychological and therapeutic benefits of substances like LSD. Leary’s work was at the forefront of a counterculture movement that championed expanded consciousness and the breaking down of societal norms. His advocacy for the use of psychedelics as a tool for personal growth and healing made him a controversial figure in the scientific and public spheres.

Bill Wilson, in contrast, was a recovering alcoholic whose profound spiritual experience during his own battle with addiction led to the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935. AA promotes a program of recovery that emphasizes spiritual awakening and mutual support through its Twelve Steps. Wilson’s own recovery journey was deeply influenced by his “white light” spiritual experience, which he believed was a divine intervention that helped him achieve sobriety.

The Content of the Letter

In the letter to Leary, Wilson expresses genuine interest in the potential of LSD to facilitate spiritual experiences similar to those he believed were crucial in overcoming addiction. Wilson wrote, “A number of us A.A.’s here in New York have been a part of the development of the LSD possibilities,” indicating that there were discussions within AA about the potential benefits of psychedelics in the recovery process.

Wilson references his connection with Dr. Humphry Osmond, a psychiatrist and one of the pioneers of psychedelic therapy, who was known for his work with LSD in treating alcoholism. Wilson suggests that Leary and Osmond’s research might align in exploring how LSD could be used to induce spiritual awakenings that help individuals struggling with addiction achieve sobriety.

Interestingly, Wilson acknowledges the negative perception of LSD in the media at the time, stating that “LSD and some kindred alkaloids have had an amazingly bad press,” but also highlights their “immense and growing value.” This shows Wilson’s willingness to consider alternative, albeit controversial, approaches to spiritual and psychological healing, even within the context of AA’s more traditional views on sobriety.

Dear Mr. Leary:

It was most pleasant to have your letter of June 30th, along with the suggestion that we may have a number of mutual interests.

The last time I saw Aldous [Huxley] I believe he referred enthusiastically to your work.

A number of us A.A.’s here in New York have been a part of the development of the LSD possibilities. Our chief contact has been Dr. Humphry Osmond of Saskatchewan, whom we consider to be the greatest authority in this whole area. He is very close to Aldous and if you don’t know him, you certainly should.

Though LSD and some kindred alkaloids have had an amazingly bad press, there seems no doubt of their immense and growing value. Indeed it seems to make out a statistical case, as of now.

Perhaps, too, you will find some interest in Alcoholics Anonymous—its principles and mechanisms.

In any case, it will be fine to meet you as soon as that can be arranged. Regrettably I shall be away practically the whole of August, plans already having been made.

However, it still may be possible to meet you close to August 1st, if it would be convenient. Failing that, we may be able to arrange something following Labor Day.

Meanwhile, all the best.

Sincerely yours,
Bill Wilson
(William G. Wilson)

P.S. My office telephone number is Murray Hill 6-1100 in New York City. Please ask for my assistant, Neil Wing, who will know my whereabouts.

Founder of AA

The Significance of This Correspondence

This exchange between Wilson and Leary is significant for several reasons:

1. An Intersection of Philosophies: The letter illustrates a unique intersection between two very different approaches to understanding and transforming human consciousness. While Leary was exploring the expansion of consciousness through psychedelics, Wilson was advocating for spiritual transformation through personal reflection and communal support within AA. Despite their different methods, both were seeking similar outcomes: personal growth, healing, and spiritual enlightenment.
2. Open-mindedness in Recovery Approaches: Wilson’s openness to exploring new and unconventional methods, such as psychedelic therapy, highlights his commitment to understanding all potential avenues for helping individuals recover from addiction. This curiosity aligns with his belief that profound spiritual experiences could be a key to overcoming addiction, a belief rooted in his own recovery journey.
3. Controversy and Divergent Paths: While Wilson showed interest in LSD’s potential, his views were likely controversial both within and outside AA. Many members of AA, grounded in a more traditional understanding of sobriety, may have been uncomfortable with the idea of using mind-altering substances to facilitate recovery. This divergence between AA’s spiritual approach and the psychedelic exploration championed by Leary reflects broader cultural and scientific debates about the best methods for psychological and spiritual healing.
4. Legacy and Impact on AA: Although Wilson’s interest in psychedelics did not lead to their integration into AA’s practices, the correspondence reflects the experimental spirit that characterized some of AA’s early developments. It also shows the organization’s ongoing search for effective recovery methods. Wilson’s willingness to engage with Leary suggests a more nuanced view of recovery than is often attributed to AA’s founders.

Reflecting on the Potential of Psychedelics in Recovery

Today, the idea of using psychedelics as a tool for addiction recovery is gaining renewed interest, with modern studies exploring the potential benefits of substances like psilocybin and MDMA for treating various mental health issues, including addiction. Wilson’s brief but meaningful exchange with Leary foreshadowed this current resurgence in interest, suggesting that there may be multiple paths to achieving spiritual awakening and recovery.

This correspondence serves as a reminder of the importance of keeping an open mind when exploring new methods for healing and growth. It encourages us to consider all possible tools—whether spiritual, therapeutic, or even pharmacological—that might help those struggling with addiction find their way to recovery.

The brief correspondence between Timothy Leary and Bill Wilson is a fascinating chapter in the history of addiction recovery and psychological research. It provides insight into a time when new ideas about consciousness and healing were being actively explored and debated. While AA continued along a more traditional spiritual path, Wilson’s curiosity about psychedelic research reflects a broader, more open-minded approach to the possibilities for spiritual and personal growth. As we continue to explore new methods for healing, this historical exchange reminds us that recovery is a journey with many possible routes, and that an open mind can be one of our most valuable tools.

To make this mundane world sublime,
Take half a gram of phanerothyme

Osmond responded with a poem of his own…

To fathom Hell or soar angelic,
Just take a pinch of psychedelic

And so, the word was first used and has been ever since.  We mention Bill Wilson’s first usage of LSD, but he was not the first person connected with Alcoholics Anonymous to experiment with LSD as a form of treatment or therapy.  For that, we have to travel a bit earlier to Canada, which was at the forefront of LSD research at the time.

In 1953, Dr Humphrey Osmond, three years before he would coin the term ‘psychedelic’, and Dr. Abram Hoffer were having an evening conversation about alcoholics and delirium tremens.  They were curious about the possible effects that LSD would have on alcoholics.  At the time, they thought that perhaps since the psychedelic effects of LSD and delirium tremens experienced by alcoholics was similar, maybe artificially inducing these deliriums with LSD could have an effect on sobriety.  Osmond later writes, “This idea at 4:00 A.M., seemed so bizarre that we laughed uproariously. But when our laughter subsided, the question seemed less comical and we formed our hypothesis or question: would a controlled LSD-produced delirium help alcoholics stay sober?”  This is expanded upon in the book Pass it On.

“In 1954, Abram Hoffer and I, using LSD and mescaline [for] schizophrenia, conceived the idea that they represented something very similar to delirium tremens — that a good many people who really give up alcohol do so on basis of the fact that they’ve had an attack of D.T.’s and been impressed by them. We [thought] it might be a very good idea to give a person an ‘attack’ before he’d been completely destroyed. This was our original theory. We found, in fact, that this wasn’t quite how it worked. [It was] really not unlike Bill’s experience, which I later heard about — it gave a number of people pause for thought, not on the grounds of how terrifying it was, but how illuminating it was.” -Pass it On

And so, they chose two alcoholics, a male and a female, and administered 200mcg of LSD at the Saskatchewan Hospital in Weyborn.  Of these two, the male stopped drinking for several months, whereas for the other, it appeared to have no effect on her drinking.  Encouraged by these results, the doctors expanded their research to 24 alcoholics, but not any ordinary alcoholics.  For this study, they sought out the hardest cases and reached out to other hospitals and agencies in the area.  “We want your worst cases; we are not interested in mild cases that could recover through A.A. or through any other agency that you now have available.”  Of the 24 in this group,  they averaged uncontrollable drinking of about 12 years. Twenty had tried A.A. and failed. Twelve had been previously diagnosed as psychopathic. Eight had serious character or personality disorders, and the remaining four were borderline or actual psychotics. The results of the second study?  Outcomes were tracked from 2 months up to 3 years.  Of those in the study 6 reported either full abstinence or minimal drinking during that time, 6 had dramatically decreased their drinking, whereas the remaining 12 were unchanged in their drinking habits.  This study led to another, this time with 60 “very difficult psychopathic alcoholics” and that after a five-year follow-up, it was reported by Dr. Hoffer at a 1959 Josiah Macy Conference on LSD”… half of them were no longer drinking. You will not believe it, and I would not have, either. The results are very impressive…”

Dr. Hoffer was not the only one working with LSD and alcoholics. A more controlled trial directly involving integration between AA and psychedelics took place in the same hospital, this time by Sven Jensen.

“Sven Jensen, a psychiatrist working in Weyburn, Saskatchewan, published the first controlled clinical trial of LSD in alcoholism in 1962. He developed a program based largely on the principles of AA. The treatment included weekly AA meetings. During 2 h of group psychotherapy, those who were not already familiar with the AA program were indoctrinated mainly by the other patient’s discussion. Toward the end of hospitalization, the patients were given LSD. The dosage (routinely 200μg) usually produced an intense reaction in a nonalcoholic person; however, alcoholics were relatively resistant. Patients preparing for the LSD experience were told that it would not prevent them from drinking but would rather make them understand why they drink and what they could do about it. Of 58 patients who experienced the full program, and were followed up for 6–18 months, 34 had remained totally abstinent since discharge or stayed abstinent following a short experimental bout immediately after discharge; 7 were definitely drinking less than before; 13 were unimproved; and 4 were lost to follow-up. Of 35 patients who received group therapy without LSD, 4 were abstinent, 4 were improved, 9 were unimproved, and 18 were lost to follow-up. Of 45 controls, consisting of patients admitted to the hospital during the same period who received individual treatment by other psychiatrists, 7 were abstinent, 3 improved, 12 unimproved, and 23 lost to follow-up. By a chi-squared test, significantly more of the alcoholics treated with LSD were abstinent or improved at the time of follow-up than of those who received group therapy alone or of the controls.” -The History of Psychedelics in Psychiatry, David E. Nichols & Hannes Walter

These results were astounding, with 58% of those who took LSD and integrating with AA staying sober for 6-18 months of follow-ups vs only 11% staying sober without LSD.  In addition, an interesting side effect happened in this study: over 90% of the lsd group stayed in AA, whereas 50% of the non-LSD group dropped out of AA.  Being informed of success rates like these are having an effect on Bill, who is passionate about helping those whom AA doesn’t seem to be working.  The AA secretary, Nell Wing, reports

“There were alcoholics in the hospitals, of whom A. A. could touch and help only about five percent. The doctors started giving them a dose of LSD, so that the resistance would be broken down. And they had about 15 percent recoveries. This was all a scientific thing.” -Pass it On

During the summer of 1966, after thirteen years of research in this area, Dr. Hoffer published the statistics relating to the more than eight hundred hard-core alcoholics who had been treated in the Canadian LSD program.

“When psychedelic therapy is given to alcoholics using methods described in the literature about one-third will remain sober after the therapy is completed, and one-third will be benefited. If schizophrenics and malvarians are excluded from LSD therapy the results should be better by about 30 per cent. There are no published papers using psychedelic therapy which show it does not help about 50 per cent of the treated group….Our conclusion after 13 years of research is that properly used LSD therapy can convert a large number of alcoholics into sober members of society…. Even more important is the fact that this can be done very quickly and therefore very economically. Whereas with standard therapy one bed might be used to treat about 4 to 6 patients per year, with LSD one can easily treat up to 36 patients per bed per year.”

What’s interesting to note about Dr. Hoffers comments, is that he’s suggesting that treatment, which at the time was anywhere from 30-60 days on average for an alcoholic, can be shortened to 10 days with LSD therapy with increased outcomes over the longer stays.  At the time of today’s writing, the average length of stay for an alcoholic or addict seeking treatment is anywhere from 30 to 90 days of residential followed by encouragement to attend 12-step meetings.  Unfortunately, two years after Dr. Hoffer released his study, in 1968, LSD would be scheduled in the US as a schedule I drug, meaning it has no approved medical value.  By 1971, the United Nations made a similar move and scheduled LSD.   Any possible chance for a shorter term, higher success rate treatment program hinted at by Dr. Hoffer involving LSD was now officially over.

There is a bit of history that may help to understand the changes that were occurring within AA as a whole and how it affected later decisions for Bill Wilson.  Beginning in the 1940s, Bill Wilson, struggling now with major depression begins to seek outside help for his solution: Father Ed Dowling, a Jesuit priest and spiritual mentor, who informs Bill that his depression is related to a lack of spirituality or the need to satisfy a spiritual thirst, Dr Harry Tiebout who suggests that Bill’s problems stem from “both in his active alcoholism and his current sobriety he had been trying to live out the infantilely grandiose demands of “His Majesty the Baby” (Not God, by Ernest Kurst) and finally 5 years working with Dr Frances Weeks, a Jungian therapist who believes that Bills issues are his inability to separate the needs of AA with his own personal ones.

“Highly satisfactory to live one’s life for others, it cannot be anything but disastrous to live one’s life for others as those others think it should be lived…The extent to which the AA movement and the individual in it determine my choices is really astonishing. Things which are primary to me (even for the good of AA) are unfulfilled…So we have the person of Mr. Anonymous in conflict with Bill Wilson” – Soul of Sponsorship

How other members of AA, and even Bill himself, viewed him seeking psychiatric help for his depression were not positive.

“Bill believed that his depressions were perpetuated by his own failure to work the AA steps…”I used to be rather guilt ridden about this…I blamed myself for inability to practice the program in certain areas of my life.”-Pass It On

According to Francis Hartigan, author of the biography Bill W, when it got out that Bill W was seeking psychiatric help, she writes

“The reaction for many members was worse than it had been to the news he was suffering from depression…As these members saw it, Bill’s seeking outside help was tantamount to saying the A.A. program didn’t work.”-Bill W, Francis Hartigan

It is important to state that AA, the organization, is not against seeking outside help and encourages it if necessary.  But that doesn’t always mean that its members are quite so accepting.  And unfortunately, it appears that Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, was beginning to experience an ever-growing dogma that was entering the rooms of AA.  The dogma being that “AA and only AA is the solution”, apparently even for depression.

So, whatever the reasons for his decision to take LSD, Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, made the decision.  And, like many of our members of Psychedelics in Recovery have experienced, on August 29, 1956, with set and setting and 3 guides present, took his first intentional usage of a psychedelic and entered the strange place of being both a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and…something other.

Under the supervision of his sponsee and friend Tom Powers, Gerald Heard and Dr. Sidney Cohen, psychiatrist, Bill Wilson takes LSD for the first of many times, and the effect was nothing less than profound on him.  Here are some of the statements made in regard to this first LSD experience.

“At 1:00 pm Bill reported “a feeling of peace.” At 2:31 p.m. he was even happier. “Tobacco is not necessary to me anymore,” he reported. At 3:15 p.m. he felt an “enormous enlargement” of everything around him. At 3:22 p.m. he asked for a cigarette. At 3:40 p.m. he said he thought people shouldn’t take themselves so damn seriously.” My Name is Bill, Susan Cheever

“Bill was enthusiastic about his experience; he felt it helped him eliminate many barriers erected by the self, or ego, that stand in the way of one’s direct experience of the cosmos and of God. He thought he might have found something that could make a big difference to the lives of many who still suffered. Soon, he had a group of people — psychiatrists, ministers, publishers, and friends — interested in further experiments with the substance. Far from keeping his activities a secret, he was eager to spread the word. (Secrecy was never Bill’s strong point. His candor, certainly an important part of his great charm and credibility, also had its drawbacks. As Nell said, if you did not want something to be publicly known, you were well advised not to share it with Bill. In a word, he was open about his own affairs and those of others.)” -Pass it On

In a currently unpublished letter to Carl Jung described by Don Lattin below, Wilson writes that his LSD experiences are similar to the original “white light experience” back in the Townes Hospital years before.

“I discovered a second Wilson letter to Jung. In that letter of March 29, 1961, Wilson writes at length about his experiments using LSD to help members of Alcoholics Anonymous have the spiritual awakening that is central to the twelve-step program of recovery. 

‘Some of my AA friends and I have taken the material (LSD) frequently and with much benefit,’ Wilson told Jung, adding that the powerful psychedelic drug sparks ‘a great broadening and deepening and heightening of consciousness.’

Wilson told Jung that his first LSD trip in 1956 reminded him of a mystical revelation he had after hitting bottom in the 1930s and winding up in a New York City hospital ward for hardcore alcoholics. ‘My original spontaneous spiritual experience of twenty-five years before was enacted with wonderful splendor and conviction,’”-Distilled Spirits, Don Lattin

Within a few months of this first session with LSD, Bill Wilson now does his first group LSD experience where everyone participating took lower doses of LSD.  Present is Bill Wilson, Tom Powers, Dr. Betty Eisner (therapist) and Dr. Sidney Cohen (who was the researcher present for Bills first experience the previous August.)  Later Betty’s husband Will, who didn’t partake, arrives, and tries to connect with Bill about their mutually shared struggles with depression.  Followed is some of the notes taken by Betty and compiled for an unpublished book entitled “Remembrances of LSD Therapy Past.”

“When I talked to Tom about his coming out…the idea of all of us taking 25 gamma experimentally to see what would happen. Since all of us had had it at least once — in larger doses, it would be interesting, I thought, to see what the small dose would do… So unconsciously or rather half consciously I probably had hopes of help from Tom either in the problem area or in the integrative…

But when W.W. (Wilson) walked into the den…I knew this was his session…

Sid was waiting for us in his office at the hospital and there were warm greetings to Tom and Wilson. At 12:20 we took the drug…Wilson had taken 50 gamma — the rest of us 25. When offered the little blue pills and was told by Sid to take what he wanted, he said — ‘Never say that to a drunk,’ and took two…it was 35 minutes later when he said he felt stirred by the music, and 10 minutes after that when he began talking. Throughout the session he rarely would admit feeling the drug or its action, but about the time he started talking quite a bit in a more relaxed way his face changed, he looked much younger, and the tension began to go.”

“Tom and I took alternating roles of therapists; Sid for the most part sat very quietly. I felt pulled in different directions at times by the three of them…the problems seemed to be in the mother-father area from the masculine aspect. Sid was very open to the whole thing…and I felt that many of the things which were said to Wilson he felt were said to him, too. And Tom seemed to identify a great deal with the problem and at one point cried. Wilson came close only twice — once in relation to his mother and once with his father, I believe. I kept having the feeling that my role was that of therapist — this wasn’t my time to experience the drug, and then I consequently examined myself as to whether this were a defense against the drug…”

“…Gregorian Chants, and these moved Tom profoundly. He seemed to take onto himself the suffering of humanity and particularly with respect to a mental hospital…I think he actually was open to the surrounding suffering and as such felt it. This is important with respect to where we hold our massive LSD experiments…”

“I hesitate to enter into the dynamics of the problem(s) as they were uncovered. I do think that there were two important parts, though — Wilson’s experience of himself as unloved — and the perception that it was not through himself but because of his parents that this occurred…It was interesting to see how the therapy went — at times I felt that Tom jumped too many levels and lost Wilson; at times he felt that I was off the beam…”

 “At about four or shortly after Wilson seemed to be coming out and rebuilding his defenses (but one can still get through, Tom — as we found at dinner: both Will and I did.)…Sid had to go to a military ball, and so we decided to leave. Now that the session was over, I suddenly began to feel the drug — four hours after I had taken it. (Both Tom and I had full LSD reactions 5 hours after the drug had been administered.)…I really didn’t feel that I should drive, but Wilson is ticky in LA and Tom wasn’t in much better shape than I. So I crawled down San Vicente concentrating on all aspects of driving and had a terrible time figuring out where to go…But we finally made it to Tali’s, and while we sat drinking and talking the drug really hit me. The color and room approached and receded in waves — it was just like the first time I had had the drug from the sensory aspect — the slugging on the back of the head, the nausea, etc. And I knew I was in for a bad reaction because there wasn’t the concomitant freeing experience.”

 “I felt progressively worse as we came home — and since the sitter had to leave almost immediately, I was projected like a missile into the domestic situation. Nothing was done that should have been done, and everything was a mess, which I tried to keep from Tom and Wilson (the old perfect hostess operating) and I felt worse and worse and worse…But I couldn’t put a name or reason to it — there didn’t seem to be anything related to my suffering…I had to retire to the bedroom…I sobbed and sobbed in terrible anguish over — I didn’t know what! And I still don’t really. Tom suggested that it might have been a reaction from the session since I was carrying a heavy load of masculinity — one of me and three of them…”

 “So — Will came home and we had drinks — hard and soft — and talked and talked. And then to the Miramar for dinner where Will really got through to Wilson a couple of times on the bridge between them of depression. I got through to him once, too, although Tom didn’t think we could do it… And we talked about trust, and the difficulty is that Wilson doesn’t trust anybody: he can’t let them close because he doesn’t trust himself — that he may kill them, in effect. Because those of us with ‘paranoid’ tendencies will kill before being killed, and the ‘depressive’ will kill himself first. And I think that is all there is to different psychiatric classifications in this area. And perhaps there is only one: the ego when attacked will defend itself to the death. And this violence and basic urge to kill (basic to the ego, not the self) is so appalling to the ‘depressive’ that he shrinks back and turns the point of the weapon toward himself while the ‘paranoid’ on the other had tries to rationalize it and make a pretty picture of it for society or whoever to see…”

“And when we got home at one or after I was still so disturbed and upset and in such suffering I cooked until 3 and soon I felt peace and release and back to creative reality again. Cooking is a sacrament; I never knew before.”

What is interesting about this session and how it may relate to our group, Psychedelics in Recovery, is in regard to childhood trauma.  Bill Wilson, now with over 20 years of continuous sobriety from alcohol and under the effects of LSD begins to speak of his mother and his father “Wilson’s experience of himself as unloved — and the perception that it was not through himself but because of his parents that this occurred” and later the conversation shifts into distrust “And we talked about trust, and the difficulty is that Wilson doesn’t trust anybody: he can’t let them close because he doesn’t trust himself”

What is never mentioned in the Big Book, nor the Twelve and Twelve of AA, is Bills childhood.  Even Bills Story begins when Bill is about 20 years old and so we are left to start with that.  In later years, biographies have come out detailing more of his unique childhood.  Bill himself almost never speaks of it.  An unpublished first version of Bill’s Story written in 1938 begins with a simple sentence.

“When I was about ten years old my Father and mother agreed to disagree and I went to live with my Grandfather, and Grandmother”-Bill’s Story, unpublished version 1938

Later biographies expand on that simple sentence and put more light into the difficulties of Bill’s relationship, or lack thereof, with his parents.

“Then it was that Mother told us that Father had gone for good. To this day, I shiver every time I recall that scene on the grass by the lakefront. It was an agonizing experience for one who apparently had the emotional sensitivity that I did. I hid the wound, however, and never talked about it with anybody, even my sister.” – Pass it On

His father took a job out west and never returned.  Later, as a result of the divorce, Bill’s mother dropped him and sister off to live with their grandparents so she could move to Boston and study osteopathy.

“Although Bill and Dorothy loved their grandparents, who were very good to them, they felt abandoned. Bill was especially devoted to his father and badly missed him after he moved to the West. . . . The separation made him feel set apart and inferior to youngsters who lived with a mother and father.

And now Emily, too, went away from East Dorset. Leaving Bill and Dorothy in the full-time care of their grandparents, she moved to Boston to go back to school — specifically, osteopathic college.”- Pas it On

During the formation of AA and its later decades, little was known about childhood trauma and how that can affect someone for years.  But apparently it has affected Bill.  Whereas this was apparently something that he rarely discussed, he now discusses it with 3 others who are undergoing an LSD therapy session together.  Alcoholics Anonymous has done wonders for many who have struggled with alcoholism and addiction.  But, at the time of its writings there was essentially no such thing as trauma therapy.  Bill Wilson has experienced several years now of working with a Dr, a Jesuit Priest and a Jungian Therapist as described in several paragraphs earlier.  It is interesting to note that only one of these, Dr. Tiebout, acknowledges anything suggesting that his childhood may still be affecting him.  Unfortunately, it’s not very empathetic…” he had been trying to live out the infantilely grandiose demands of ‘His Majesty the Baby’”

It would be assumed in the decades prior to the LSD experiences that Bill Wilson probably attempted to do step work on his depression and perhaps even his difficulties of his childhood.  And so, we should look there for answer.  In the AA literature, we are encouraged to do a personal inventory of wrongs done.

“Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man’s. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.” -Alcoholics Anonymous

For many people who have experienced childhood or adult trauma, physical, emotional, sexual, or spiritual abuse, abandonment, addictive parents, or dysfunctional upbringings and who enter into AA, we are also faced with this 4^th step inventory and some of its suggestions.  There has been many a well-meaning sponsor who is trying to help a member directly out of the book who has made the following suggestions “I’m sorry that you were abused as a child, but the best we can do is pray for them and look at our own faults in the situation.  Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened?”

The previous is not to criticize AA nor its tremendous benefit that it has brought many millions.  It is simply to say, that for some of us, simply reworking the steps is not enough to handle some of our deeper difficulties, especially with the more recent understandings of the effects of trauma, neglect, abuse and shame.  And, it is possible, that even for Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, the steps were simply just not enough.  And it just very well may be, that for the very first time, while under a low dose of LSD, Bill Wilson uttered a variation of the words “perhaps my difficulties did not begin with me…”

And for the next several years, Bill Wilson continued to experiment with LSD, along with his sponsee Tom Powers, Father Ed Dowling his Jesuit priest friend and spiritual mentor, Sam Shoemaker (the leader of the Oxford Group in America), his wife, AA secretary Nell Wing, and many others in AA.

“He invited many of his closest associates to join him in the experience. Those invited included Father Dowling, who accepted, Dr. Jack, who did not, and Sam Shoemaker. Bill reported to Shoemaker: “You will be highly interested to know that Father Ed Dowling attended one of our LSD sessions while he was here recently. On that day, the material was given to one of the Duke precognition researchers, a man now located in New York. The result was a most magnificent, positive spiritual experience. Father Ed declared himself utterly convinced of its validity, and volunteered to take LSD himself.”-Pass it On

“As word of Bill’s activities reached the Fellowship, there were inevitable repercussions. Most A.A.’s were violently opposed to his experimenting with a mind-altering substance. LSD was then totally unfamiliar, poorly researched, and entirely experimental — and Bill was taking it.”-Pass it On

Although Bill was encouraged and outspoken to his friends about the potential benefits of LSD therapies, he limited his public talks about the subject, perhaps knowing how controversial the subject was.  Perhaps the closest he came to trying to convince the greater AA community to remain open to new research comes from these 1959 comments in the AA grapevine.

“We have made only a fair-sized dent on this vast world health problem. Millions are still sick and other millions soon will be. These facts of alcoholism should give us good reason to think, and to be humble. Surely, we can be grateful for every agency or method that tries to solve the problem of alcoholism — whether of medicine, religion, education, or research. We can be open-minded toward all such efforts, and we can be sympathetic when the ill-advised ones fail.”-Bill Wilson, March 1959, Grapevine.

In the end, it appears that AA, the organization, was not willing to endorse anything as controversial as psychedelics as an adjunct therapy for alcoholism, no matter how successful the research seemed to show.  For them, it was, and perhaps is still considered…an “outside issue” and there it should remain.

Although it is unknown when Bill Wilson last used LSD, it is suggested that it probably occurred in the early 1960s.  Bill Wilson, discouraged with the resistance in accepting psychedelics despite the apparent positive results of research, put more and more attention on the less controversial research in large doses of Niacin in reducing cravings for alcoholics and having an effect on depression.  Abram Hoffer, pioneer in the work with alcoholism and LSD, was also experimenting with Niacin (which is not a psychedelic).  Since Bill himself had started using large doses (1000mg) of Niacin and found that it dramatically reduced his depressive mood symptoms and cravings for alcohol that kept recurring despite being sober, he then launched his own case study with 30 AA members. He found that in the first month, 10 patients recovered. By the second month, 20 patients were mostly symptom free.  Bill noted that patients “… showed prompt and usually spectacular recovery from sometimes long-standing depression, exhaustion, heavy tension and even troublesome paranoid behavior.”

Apparently Bill Wilsons use of psychedelics was not limited to LSD.  In a September 1960 letter to Humphrey Osmond, Aldous Huxley writes of a meeting with Bill Wilson and another lesser known psychedelic

“…Yesterday I lunched with Bill Wilson who spoke enthusiastically of his own experiences with leuko-adrenochrome and of the successful use of it on his ex-alcoholic neurotics. This really sounds like a break-through and I hope you are going ahead with clinical testing. Do you have any of the stuff to spare? If so, I’d be most grateful for a sample. It might relieve my tension-pains in the lower back, as it relieved Bill’s aches and those of some of his friends. I wd like too to be able to send a few pills to Laura, who has some of Bill’s symptoms— tension, then exhaustion, and then tremendous drive to overcome the exhaustion.”

No more information is known of Bills usage of the rare psychedelic leuko-adrenochrome and his work with other alcoholics.

In 1968, Bill Wilson published a pamphlet entitled “The Vitamin B-3 Therapy” in which he claimed that those in his trials were now showing a 71% recovery rate after 2 years.  Alcoholics Anonymous actively discouraged Bill Wilson to linking any of these studies with Alcoholics Anonymous, despite their possible  potential for helping alcoholics, informing him that he needed to not use AA letterhead in any of his letters regarding Niacin therapy.  Historically, and perhaps understandably, AA has been reluctant to change any of its program, its materials, or its simple message.  Any suggestions to add, subtract or change (outside of simple edits) any of its source material or its program of recovery has always been met with resistance, both within AA the organization and among many of the members worldwide.  A common sentiment is there is no need to change something that works so well for them, regardless of if it works equally well for everyone else.

Bill Wilson died 2 years after the publication of this alternative cures Vitamin B-3 pamphlet.  It was reported by Ernest Kurtz, author of Not God, that at the end of his life Bill Wilson was asked what he wished to be remembered for.  Bill responded, much to the chagrin of millions of recovery members, not with the co-creation of Alcoholics Anonymous…but with his work with Niacin therapy.