The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, formally titled “Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism,” was first published in 1939. Written primarily by AA co-founder Bill Wilson, with input from early members, the book outlines the Twelve Steps of recovery and includes personal stories of those who have overcome alcoholism. It was designed to serve as a guide for those seeking sobriety, offering hope and practical advice for achieving and maintaining recovery. The Big Book has since become a cornerstone of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, translated into numerous languages and considered a foundational text in the field of addiction recovery. Over time, it has helped millions of people worldwide to find a path to sobriety, and its influence extends far beyond the AA community, making it one of the best-selling books of all time.
In 1939, with the publication of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the original text of Step 12 read:
“Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps…”
Within just a few short years, this was later revised to
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps…”
This change in wording reflects a significant shift in understanding the spiritual journey within the program. A closer look at the origins of AA and its co-founder Bill Wilson’s personal experiences suggests that this shift was likely influenced by the diverse experiences of early AA members and the particular nature of Wilson’s own transformative experience, which was closely tied to the “belladonna cure” for alcoholism.
Bill Wilson’s “White Light” Experience and the Belladonna Cure
Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, underwent a dramatic “white light” experience in 1934 while receiving treatment for alcoholism at Towns Hospital in New York. This experience took place shortly after he was given the “belladonna cure,” a treatment that involved a mixture of substances, including belladonna (a plant known for its hallucinogenic properties), scopolamine, and chloral hydrate. These substances are now recognized for their psychoactive effects, particularly in inducing dissociative states and hallucinations.
Wilson described his experience as a sudden, overwhelming encounter with a bright white light, accompanied by a profound sense of peace and a feeling of being in the presence of a divine power. This event marked a significant turning point in his battle with alcoholism and became a cornerstone of his belief in the necessity of a spiritual experience for recovery. His description bears striking similarities to the kinds of mystical experiences often reported by users of psychedelics and other dissociative substances.
The Belladonna Cure and Its Psychedelic Effects
The belladonna cure, named after the “Atropa belladonna” plant (also known as deadly nightshade), was a popular treatment for alcoholism in the early 20th century. Belladonna contains tropane alkaloids, such as atropine and scopolamine, which have powerful anticholinergic effects. When administered, these substances can cause vivid hallucinations, altered states of consciousness, and profound shifts in perception. Combined with other sedatives like chloral hydrate, the treatment could produce a state of delirium that some patients interpreted as spiritual or mystical.
These effects are comparable to those of certain psychedelic substances, which are known for inducing altered states of consciousness, including feelings of transcendence, unity, and spiritual revelation. Wilson’s “white light” experience under the influence of the belladonna cure likely provided the framework for his understanding of what it meant to have a “spiritual experience” as part of the recovery process.
From “Spiritual Experience” to “Spiritual Awakening”: The Shift in Wording
The initial wording of Step 12 in AA emphasized “having had a spiritual experience.” This phrasing suggests a specific, often dramatic event that results in a profound change in one’s consciousness or outlook, much like Wilson’s own experience with the belladonna cure. However, not all members of the early AA fellowship had access to the belladonna cure, and many did not experience such sudden, intense spiritual revelations.
As AA grew and attracted members from diverse backgrounds and with varying experiences, it became evident that a significant number of them did not report having dramatic “white light” experiences. Their spiritual transformations were more gradual and less defined by a single, intense event. For many, the spiritual changes associated with recovery unfolded slowly over time through working the Twelve Steps and participating in the AA community.
Recognizing this diversity of experiences, the language of Step 12 was modified from “having had a spiritual experience” to “having had a spiritual awakening.” This change was significant because it encompassed a broader range of spiritual developments. The term “spiritual awakening” allows for both the dramatic, sudden experiences like Wilson’s and the more gradual, cumulative shifts in consciousness that many members experienced.
Inclusivity and Broadening the Understanding of Spiritual Growth
The shift from “spiritual experience” to “spiritual awakening” reflects a more inclusive approach that better represents the varied experiences of AA members. By broadening the definition, AA recognized that spiritual growth does not necessarily require a dramatic, white light experience akin to Wilson’s; rather, it can be a gradual and continuous process of change. This inclusive language made the program more accessible to those who might have felt alienated by the idea of needing a sudden, profound spiritual experience to achieve recovery.
The adjustment in terminology also aligns with a deeper understanding of spirituality as an ongoing process rather than a singular event. A “spiritual awakening” suggests a continuous unfolding and deepening of spiritual awareness, resonating with the journey many people experience in recovery. It acknowledges that each person’s spiritual path is unique and that transformation can occur in countless ways, not solely through dramatic experiences.
Conclusion: The Role of Bill Wilson’s Experience and the Evolution of AA’s Spiritual Approach
Bill Wilson’s white light experience, potentially influenced by the dissociative effects of the belladonna cure, undoubtedly shaped his initial framing of spiritual transformation within AA. However, as the fellowship grew and encompassed a wider range of experiences, it became clear that not all members underwent such dramatic spiritual events. The evolution from “spiritual experience” to “spiritual awakening” in Step 12 reflects a nuanced understanding that spiritual growth in recovery is not one-size-fits-all.
By adopting more inclusive language, AA may have embraced the diverse spiritual experiences of its members, allowing for both sudden, life-changing moments and the more subtle, progressive awakenings that are just as transformative.
Awakenings or Experiences…
In Psychedelics in Recovery, you can have either, neither or both.
