The dark night of the soul, a concept famously articulated by St. John of the Cross, represents a period of profound spiritual crisis—a time when one’s inner world is thrown into disarray, and the soul feels abandoned by the very divine force it seeks. For those in long-term recovery, especially within Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), this experience often mirrors a deepening sense of emptiness that sobriety alone does not seem to fill.
Although they have maintained sobriety, many find themselves growing more depressed, anxious, or purposeless. The dark night, in this context, can be seen as a necessary stage that pushes individuals toward a new understanding of their spiritual journey—one that may eventually lead to alternative forms of healing, such as the Psychedelics in Recovery support group.
The Three Spirits of the Dark Night
The dark night of the soul can be broken down into three distinct phases or “spirits,” each representing a different aspect of the spiritual crisis experienced by many in recovery.
- The Spirit of Desolation: The first phase is marked by desolation—a profound sense of abandonment and isolation. For long-term members of AA, this may manifest as a feeling of spiritual dryness. The once-vibrant experience of early sobriety now feels distant, and attending meetings or working with a sponsor no longer provides the same sense of purpose or fulfillment. Instead of joy or relief, individuals begin to experience a growing sense of emptiness. The tools that helped them stay sober seem less effective at addressing the deeper emotional and existential needs that surface over time. The spirit of desolation forces individuals to confront the emptiness they feel, urging them to seek beyond the familiar.
- The Spirit of Doubt: As desolation sets in, the spirit of doubt emerges. In this phase, individuals begin to question not just their recovery process but the very foundations of their spiritual beliefs. Long-held assumptions about sobriety, higher powers, and recovery practices come into question. “Is this all there is?” becomes the persistent inner dialogue. Doubt is a critical part of the journey, as it opens the door for self-reflection and exploration. It invites those in recovery to examine whether the path they have followed still serves their evolving needs, or if they must search for something new. This questioning can be particularly difficult for those in AA, where the rigidity of certain practices may feel limiting, leaving little room for broader interpretations of spirituality.
- Spiritus Vertiginus: The Spirit of Spiritual Vertigo: The third and final phase is what might be called spiritus vertiginus—spiritual vertigo. In this stage, all the spiritual tools that once provided comfort and stability begin to falter. It is as though the very ground of one’s spiritual world has shifted, leaving them disoriented. This phase often leads individuals to feel like they are spinning in place, unsure of what steps to take next. The familiar practices that sustained their sobriety—meetings, the Twelve Steps, reliance on a higher power—no longer provide the sense of grounding they once did. Spiritual vertigo is both terrifying and liberating, as it signals the dissolution of the old framework and the need to embrace new, perhaps unfamiliar, spiritual practices.
For many in AA, spiritus vertiginus represents a critical turning point. It is the realization that their recovery journey must evolve beyond the familiar tools and structures. The need for something new—something that speaks to the deep sense of unease and spiritual stagnation—leads them toward alternatives like Psychedelics in Recovery.
Sobriety, Yet Stagnation: The Path to Psychedelics in Recovery
Many individuals who have maintained sobriety through AA reach a point where they feel spiritually stagnant. Despite doing everything “right” in the program, they find themselves trapped in a cycle of depression, anxiety, or purposelessness. The experience of sobriety without fulfillment can feel like the ultimate disillusionment. The dark night of the soul often manifests in these moments of crisis, revealing that recovery is not just about abstinence but about spiritual growth and connection.
For some, Psychedelics in Recovery offers a way forward. The group provides a community that embraces alternative forms of spiritual exploration, including the intentional use of psychedelics for healing and insight. Psychedelics, when used in a supportive, safe setting, can help individuals break through the barriers created by years of sobriety that have not fully addressed the root causes of their emotional or spiritual struggles. In these experiences, the dark night of the soul becomes not a sign of failure but an essential step toward greater understanding and transformation.
Spiritus Vertiginus as a Bridge to Psychedelic Healing
Spiritus vertiginus, or spiritual vertigo, is a moment of profound disorientation. It signals the collapse of old spiritual structures and the emergence of a new, undefined path. This phase is often the most difficult, as individuals feel unmoored, unsure of what practices will guide them forward. Yet it is also the most fertile ground for transformation. Psychedelics in Recovery becomes a lifeline for those experiencing this spiritual vertigo, offering an inclusive space where the use of plant medicines and psychedelics can support deeper healing.
In this context, psychedelic experiences are not seen as a replacement for traditional recovery methods but as a complement. They offer the potential to reconnect individuals with a sense of purpose, break through mental and emotional blockages, and explore new dimensions of spirituality. Spiritus vertiginus becomes a bridge—a way to move from the limitations of old paradigms into a new realm of possibility and understanding.
Embracing the Dark Night
The dark night of the soul, with its three spirits of desolation, doubt, and spiritual vertigo, is a transformative journey that mirrors the struggles many in long-term recovery face. For those who have spent years in AA yet feel increasingly disconnected from their spirituality, the dark night can be a necessary phase that pushes them toward new ways of healing. Rather than viewing it as a failure or an indication that their recovery is incomplete, the dark night offers an opportunity to reevaluate and expand their spiritual practices.
Psychedelics in Recovery offers a framework for navigating this crisis. By embracing the insights that psychedelics can provide, individuals are able to confront the deepest layers of their emotional and spiritual wounds, emerging from the dark night with renewed clarity and purpose. Spiritus vertiginus, though disorienting, is the gateway to transformation—a necessary moment of dissolution that ultimately leads to the discovery of a more expansive and inclusive path to spiritual growth.
